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From the Desk of E. MacMillan. Asst Dep. U/S MoM (Educ).
As I have some not incosiderable experience in the sphere of communications (you may recall I was Official Postmaster for Hogwarts), I have been tasked by the Ministry with snooping monitoring overseeing adivising on use of compewters to communicate. I have been on several important courses, and have now completed my research.
My conclusions are, without resorting to technical jargon, that either the system is totally buggered inoperable, or that everyone is staying with older technology. Owls, carrier nifflers, semaphore and the likes.
Still at least the statistics were easy to add up.
For further details, do feel free to wave a flag or two in my direction.*
*(NOT the firework powered ones please)
I mean I can type these things in. And lock them, after a fashion. Well usually. But that's my limit. The only keyboard skill I have is getting cat sick out o it with a toothbrush. And I'm not even very good at that. As having to lever up the F key every time I use it attests. lipping stupid thing.
But anyway I am to be sent on a course. Compewter Security. I don't see why me, I mean I am hardly an expert. But, I suppose it gets me away from the abusive notes and moaning missives. Not that I mind those. It shows that administration is gaining a higher profile. A "Paradigm Shift" as Professor Tofty put it in our last meeting. He then went on to talk about "leveraging best practice", and I was just starting to nod off, when he said "stretch target" and Alfie Watkins who works in Supply shouted "BINGO". I have no idea why, but it caused me to spill my cocoa on my new flannels.
So anyway, the course lasts a week. All administrative forms arriving during that period will be processed on my return. Please do not put old fish heads in them, as one person did last time I was away. It isn't funny, and it makes the room smell horrible. And the cat doesn't enjoy them one bit. Also the toothbrush is getting worn out.
As is the F key.
Send
Pity can't send SB(m) 53 - supernatural being (mad) registration form but there is no such form. Yet.
Finish construction in garden. Hope Suse doesn't recognise it as a
Make sure it is Hob Nob proof.
And
Admit to Suse I miss the
Buy chickens was offered last week.
Point out savings on eggs.
Except chocolate eggs of course
Buy chocolate eggs.
[end private memo]
The weather forecast is really nice for the weekend, and we are planning to have a
It would be great if any of you wanted to join us! Just bring whatever you like to eat and we can
You know, meat, vegetarian all that kind of thing
Look forward to seeing some of you at least.
Ernest Macmillan.
Sorry, bloody kittens
The new batch of forms will be owled to you next week.
Locked to Marcus Featherstonehaugh
Marcus, you know I hate owls, and if that was your idea of some sort of a joke, then it wasn't very funny. For one thing, The header line would have been clearly visible to my Ministry colleagues, and the expression - "What should I do with a giant..." - well you know what you said - is opent to misinterpretation. And anyway, you also know, perfectly well, that the chickens are all female. The eggs you collect every morning give it away. So it was silly and inaccurate
I suppose I'm to gather then that you had a slight problem with shrinking/enlarging when you used the portal? You know the trouble there has been every time
Since you assure me that everything has in fact settled down again, let's hope against hope that Professor Lupin's budding gardeners don't get more than they bargained for.
Subject: Official Ministry Forms
From: E MacMillan
It has come to my attention that there is a reluctance from certain quarters to properly complete in the specified time, Official Ministry Forms
Specifically, the phrase "in triplicate" means just that. Three copies. This is because
For those of you who
It should be noted, however, that, although the charm is very low intensity and perfectly safe for humans, there is a slight possibility that misuse or incorrect disposal of these forms may have an unforseen triplication effect in smaller creatures. Please handle and dispose of with care.
EM
Does anyone know a good charm for removing whitewash from hair?
Work on the cottage is progressing as well as can be expected I suppose. It all sounds so easy when someone else is telling you how to do it. "Oh just a quick sanding spell, a cleaning charm, and then just get one of those combined stirrers and brushes from Chalmers and Lovejoy in Knockturn Alley".
I expect you can imagine the rest.
So I am now doing it the non-magical way. Takes longer, but tends to distribute the whitewash more or less where it is intended to be.
I am taking care of the interior, while Suse, when she isn't working, is looking after the little garden. She keeps bringing home exotic plants that Master Wington has given her to "cheer the old place up" By and large they behave themselves when Suse is around. And I am sure they will stop nipping me eventually.
Anyway the cottage is coming along well,. and should be ready for visitors very soon.
In other news, I could be getting a new job myself. We were at dinner with
Anyway, they were complaining abut the amount of paperwork and form filling that was required these days. Professor Tofty saying that it was all so unnecessary. Well of course, I couldn't be more in disagreement, and I told them so. I mean where would the world be, if we didn't have a systems and standards? To illustrate my point, I told them about my record keeping for the
So I've been asked to visit him in his office at the Ministry. Apparently they might be looking for someone to take away the administrative tasks from the Professors who work there. So maybe I might still have a career in Education after all!
Suse, Hannah and I all made our way to Hannah's flat, where we were joined by Hannah's flat mate Sinead. Suse's Aunt Amelia headed off to her own house, via the Ministry, so I suppose we shall get all her news when we go round for dinner tomorrow.
London is still very much as Padma described it, although it seems more and more wizarding people are starting to really believe the was is over, and slowly, but surely things are returning for what passes as normal in this place. A lot of the shops in Diagon Alley are still boarded up, most notably Ollivanders. The Weasley place is open however, and Fred seems as well as one might expect.
This evening, we quickly put things in order at Hannah's flat, and then, since no one felt like cooking, we got one of those round Italian bread things, which is delivered by the Pisa Express. Very tasty it was too.
Tomorrow Suse and I are going to Kew. Professor Sprout, if there is anything you need us to get, then just let us know.
In fact if anyone has anything they need, we can certainly post it on.
~Snape found Valerius~ sent Patronus to Order~ needs help bring V back ~ One of us to follw and help~ Can you get back?~ No more known as yet~ Ernie
So Padma's off searching for Valerius.
I'm not sure randomly scouring the countryside is the most efficient means of searching, but at least she's doing something. Something that at least feels useful. Busy. I'd probably do the same if it were Suse gone missing. Gods forbid.. I do hope Valerius VIsconti is ok, not just for Padma's sake.
Still as I say, at least she is seeing something of the world that doesn't involve fighting and burning and death, albeit under the strain of not knowing where he is.
Seems like forever since I was out and about just for the sake of it. Probably the time I went to London to visit Hannah and Suse and I .... Ahh happy days.
Seems like no-one in London is sure of what's going on. Not like in Oxford at any rate. Good grief, dancing naked. What on earth are they thinking of?
[Locked to Suse]
Fancy a dance walk and a picnic? The house elves have filled a hamper with all sorts. And I don't mean liquorice!
[Locked to OrdI see this thing is still working.
For those of you I haven't seen yet, I hope you are all right. I am all right. For those of you that I have seen, then of course I know how you are. And you know how I am. And I am all right.
( [Private] )
Everyone seems so....intense. Yet focused. Preoccupied yet... calm almost. I don't mean the pupils of course, they are as nervous as anything. No, I mean the Order members. It's like they know what they've got to do, and they just jut their chins out and get on with it.
And I am not like that. No. I'm
But most of all I am terrified of what might happen to Susan. I just couldn't bear it if....well anything really. The thought of losing her is.....
Oh gods
Locked to Susan Bones
Suse? I need
Note to all Muggle Studies Students
As you will have seen, there was an explanation for all the nonsense that appeared in many recent journals. This means that silly jokes about dancing and parties can stop. As can suggestions for hangover cures which sound both nauseating and somewhat dangerous. For those of you who seem to have the memory capacity of a goldfish, I would remind you that there is a war on, and the supply of such items as intoxicating beverages is extremely short
Thank you for your concern about my health however. I can assure you that I am perfectly warm, despite recent inclement weather, and that, far from having lost my jumper to someone else, it is safely in my
Locked to Susan Bones
You are lovely, and never boring, and have loads of friends. And some admirers too, it would seem!! Especially me!
Love,
Ernie xxx
They are in a state of some undress, squawking around and spitting feathers. If I catch anyone misbehaving around the chicken coop, I shall be extremely tempted to dance the cachucha. fandango, bolero with them.
If you are bored, there is always plenty of work to be done. The post room is in need of painting the sky with sunshine for a start.
Remember, detention is the better part of valour And I am sure the Headmistress would be most displeased to hear she is an old battleaxe
Professor-my-bum MacMillan
P.S. Whoever put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding -dong had better take it away before I get back there or there will be severe sausages
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
One last candle burning low,
All the sleepy dancers gone,
Just one candle burning on,
Shadows lurking everywhere:
Some one came, and kissed me there.
Tired I was; my head would go
Nodding under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
No footsteps came, no voice, but only,
Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,
Stooped in the still and shadowy air
Lips unseen - and kissed me there.
Those of you reading Mr Corner's recent post will have noticed that either we have someone with a modicum of compewter skill and a very poor sense of humour playing tricks on us, or the security of locked posts has been breached.
Either way until this has been resolved, I'd suggest a bit of caution. Last time it happened I called McGonagall names and she could read it. We don't want that again
PRIVATE - TOTALLY PRIVATE
Can you read this Headmistress? Please note I am NOT suggesting you are an old bag
The owl will leave a parcel containing an elephant figurine, made from the lefotver clay used to create the Hufflepuff ward, which was painstakingly decorated, fired and glazed at the same time. There will also be a beautifully knitted bag. And a note.
Happy Birthday Padma, Here's hoping you have a wonderful day.
With love,
Ernie and Suse
xxxx
Locked to Prefects and Ex-pupils in the Safehouses
There will be a meeting to discuss the use and safeguarding of portkeys within the safehouses.
In order to conserve floo powder, meet me in your safehouse dining room
Locked to the Order of the Phoenix
As you may have seen in the Headmistress' recent post, I have been
Locked to Hermione Grainger and Padma Patil
I don't know which one of you gave that girl detention, but you really ought not to have left her in the classroom on her own. She sounded really upset. Anyway, I couldn't find her, she must have been hiding from me. I'd get her out of there if I were you, Snape will go mad if he finds out.
Locked to Madame Pomfrey.
How are Miss Patil and Mr Visconti? I'd like to visit them if it's allowed?
By now you will have heard of the need for us all to be careful in our usage of Floo powder. It has come to my attention that this very important directive has caused some dismay amongst students. I am sure however, that on considering the matter further, you will see that this small sacrifice on your part will greatly help us to be prepared for any and all future eventualities.
Often I hear talk from students bemoaning their lack of involvement in our cause, their wish to "just do something". Well here is your chance!
Firstly, you can suggest ways of cutting down Floo powder usage, particularly with regard to communication with each other. Those of you without a journal of your own may put suggestions here in my journal if you like. Any nonsense like we have seen before however, and this facility will be withdrawn
Secondly, please study the texts I gave you on the rationing experiences of Muggles in their last Big War. You will each be set an assignment next week in which you will use this information to show how important a contribution rationing made to the outcome of this particular war.
Finally lets have no more long faces. No more moaning! We will face hardship and we will overcome it! We are Hogwarts! We are resolute! And we shall win!!
Professor,
Susan Bones and I have been working on ideas for the Hufflepuff aspect of warding, and we would like to have your views on our idea.
Well I say it was our idea, actually Susan came up with it.
Basically it is that we should make a clay pot to contain the ward. We think that this would reference the concept of conjunction, the element of earth, and a representation of Hufflepuff House as required by Professor Snape. Clay being earth and so on. We could probably decorate it appropriately, if you think that would help? Perhaps you have some suggestions? Professor Snape did say we should ask advice from the
Respectfully,
